I don’t want a relationship. I want a commitment. I want to know that you won’t leave when I need you. Commitment doesn’t necessarily mean a future or even forever together. To me commitment means that you won’t leave me in the middle of nowhere and expect me to find my way back. A commitment is a promise. It means you won’t ever hurt me. You won’t lie to me. It means if we don’t work out, you will still be there for me when I need you. I don’t want a man who just the love of my life. I want him to be my best friend first. I want that full trust.
He said: I promise not to hurt you, I promise not to lie. I promise to befriend you and defend you with my life. I promise you forever, I promise you today.
If you can do that: I’ll rock your promise ring.
Yap. I'm crazy thinking about marriage at 18.
Insane by thinking about relationship and commitment because I'm single.
Thanks for this : Roxanne
Sunday, December 26, 2010
Whatever.
Friday, December 17, 2010
Whereabouts. Resulting to near insanity.
Home.
It’s a funny concept.
When I was younger, I used to think it’s a house where you live with your family… but as I grew older I realized that it’s supposed to mean something more than just walls and doors and windows and people. It’s supposed to be somewhere you belong, the one place you can always go back to, right?
And it’s not a place at all.
That’s what I used to make of it until not too long ago. (My head has had way too much time to explore those dark forsaken corners of my mind I thought I’d never have to turn to again.)
Home is starting to seem like a delusion. It’s something I’ve always been running away from.
I’m looking for someplace to belong, still am, but I know that eventually I’ll have to let go of that place and the people and everything that comes with it.
So, what’s the point?
I couldn’t make much sense of it the first time, but the second time was hard.
Maybe I should try to forget as many things as I can.
Or maybe it’s all just about making as many meaningful memories as possible, not necessarily happy ones.
I’m not even sure if I’m making any sense. But I’m definitely talking to myself again.
*
Starting from the word "Home" till the asterisk, was not from me. I re-blogged it from "S". Because the mere fact that it perfectly suits me, it also felt like I've written it. Too much for emotional annoyance.
Saturday, December 11, 2010
The Break up.
This is the first time I'll blog about the group I thought existed. If you've read my blog entry on one of my blogsites, at eriebear.blogspot.com to be exact, you'll figure out what I am talking about.
Sunday, December 5, 2010
Condolences.
There was no artifice, no shield in place to keep from seeing the desolation in his face. But then he stood to face his awful despair head-on.
Pause.
Well, it was horribly inappropriate, ghastly, really, but I couldn't help it. He was like telling me. "Mention his departure on your blog, so people feel the agony of my lost." I'd have to laugh.
Actually, my vocabulary blooms like this because I was reading "Wuthering Heights" and "To taste temptation" and felt the urge upon speaking or rather writing the classical, superb to thy emotion language. Well its nearly sarcastic but it felt good. Like I am but an ordinary English folk wearing off shoulder, balloon type, and tight in the tits gown.
To say, I am restive with enormous head coiffured with none. If you get my point, congratulation wasn't enough. Because the sense you're searching was nowhere to be found.
In plain English. Its a Bum.
I wasn't really onto blogging today. I just need it for my friend's sake. You know how it is hard to
:D
Saturday, December 4, 2010
Universal truths.
2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.
3. I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.
4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
6. Was learning cursive really necessary?
7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I’m pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
9. I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.
10. Bad decisions make good stories.
11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren’t going to do anything productive for the rest of the day
12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don’t want to have to restart my collection…again.
13. I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.
14. “Do not machine wash or tumble dry” means I will never wash this - ever.
15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring Hello? Hello? Damn it!, but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times then goes to voicemail. What did you do after I didn’t answer? Drop the phone and run away?
16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
17. I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
18. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
19. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.
20. I wish Google Maps had an “Avoid Ghetto” routing option.
21. Sometimes, I’ll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it.
22. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
23. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to finish a text.
24. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
25. How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear or understand a word they said?
26. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent an ass from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!
27. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
28. Is it just me or do high school kids get dumber & dumber every year?
29. There’s no worse feeling than that millisecond you’re sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.
30. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
31. Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
32. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I’d bet my behind everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!
<3 Thanks, Ericajamz.
Monday, November 29, 2010
Dear Lonely
The cold front of nearly-Christmas day.
I was kind of feeling extravagantly lonely. Not the kind that everyone suggest as an “emo”. It was absurd. I know. Still have platelets of un-done emotion from the past. I’m not in distraught, or was maybe. But this loneliness is actually plain. Plain loneliness expressed by my air-head.
Sometimes I feel this, sometimes I don’t, and most of the time I didn’t even think such word exists. But unfortunately, today, I feel it. Like I am the sponge and the loneliness is water.
Too good to be true, you don’t exist anymore. Yup, you’re gone and all I was left was memories that I wish I still clung into. No, I do not wish to cling on it but I once hope. Well part of me was happy part was chilly.
Thanks to the unexplainable weather.
And to my brain dealer.
And to my heart healer.
Wow. It actually rhymes.